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musicman428
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Name: Ben
Country: United States
State: Kansas
Metro: Wichita
Birthday: 4/28/1989
Gender: Male
Interests: more than you know
Expertise: stars and clouds and crab rangoon and dark streets on a rainy night and bright shoes and snow covered fields and rooms of people shout hallelujah! and beards and headbands and noise and filters.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Hospitality
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  bmacgill07
Member Since:
12/2/2003
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| right now is good. i realize that i spend alot of time thinking about the past, and worrying about the future. thinking about what i just did or what is coming next. but i think there is something really good about being content. just putting on the brakes and stopping for a second and appreciating where you are now. i'm not saying that reminiscing or remembering the past is bad. and i'm not saying that planning or looking ahead is bad either. i just think that maybe we miss some of the best things around us. for now, i'm working to be content with where i am. i'm grateful.
"Live. And Live Well. BREATHE. Breathe
in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be
now. On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows
and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun.
If
you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to
FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. Get knee-deep
in a novel and LOSE track of time.
If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well.
Feel
the SATISFACTION of a job well done—a paper well-written, a project
thoroughly completed, a play well-performed. If you must wipe the snot
from your 3-year old’s nose, don’t be disgusted if the Kleenex didn’t
catch it all… because soon he’ll be wiping his own.
If you’ve
recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well. At the table
with friends and family, LAUGH. If you’re eating and laughing at the
same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat,
then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the
grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE.
Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste
every ounce of Life. Because-it-is-most-definitely-a-Gift." -kyle lake waco, tx
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| well i'll have to say i'm pretty thankful. it hit me last night at some point that i'm thankful for the people in my life. i'm thankful for the people that have been in my life. i'm thankful for the stories that have been made because of these people. somewhere between trips to walmart, laughing about old times, international phone calls, pawn shops, and soccer i'm pretty lucky to have some great people around me. i'm not really sure how to put that into words well enough to help you feel what i'm feeling. with all that said.
thank you.
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| there have been a few points in the last few years where i find myself asking myself "where am i?" this time last year things were different. things were in a comfortable, fairly easy place. i knew where and what everything was. i knew to a point what the future held. i knew who would be around me.
and all of this is changing (and it hasn't really even changed yet...)
then the questions started coming. alot of it happened in a frequently talked about basement in downtown atlanta, georgia on ikea furniture. who am i? what is going on? where am i going? (along with the at-least-if-not-more-important question "where is god taking me?") what makes me significant?
and then one night getting on the subway to head back along with probably about 10000 other people....this phrase is ringing in my head, saying that things will be ok, they will never be the same, but a new day is coming. everything will change, we will never be the same. but its going to be alright.
and so i come back to kansas with the same questions and uncertainties. but here is the thing. i don't know whats going to happen. i'm leaving a lot of comfort and a lot of things i've become very close to. i'm leaving familiarity. i'm leaving a lot of shelter and i'm leaving a lot of things i can hide behind. i don't know what this is going to look like.
i just know i'm not alone. and thats good. because we were never meant to be alone. i'm just getting it.
bring it on.
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| just thought i'd throw up a post since not much has been happening. or maybe too much has. its hard to tell. anyways, green bean fries are good. coffee and getting lost by the side of a river is good. friends are good. jones soda is assuredly good. the people in my life are good. and humid, muggy, bad heat is not good. | | |
| father's day when i was little always was the day that you go to
church, sit with your dad, go out to lunch, let dad take a sunday nap,
and then go flying around sunset and then drive home talking about all
the things that dads and sons talk about on 30 minute car rides in the
dark.
anyways, father's day anymore kind of causes alot of
reflection and thought. father's day for some is a time to thank and
celebrate that dad that is around. for others, its a hard time to think
about the father that wasn't or isn't around.
and for me, its somewhere in between.
anyways,
some people have asked me what its like for me. some have called or
talked to maybe try and distract us or make us feel loved because these
days kind of reminds us that something is missing.
for
me....i'm grateful. really grateful. and if there is anything that
kills grief it is gratefulness. dads shape who we are and how we see
ourselves. my dad shaped what my view of a christian man, husband and
dad is supposed to look like. and for that i'm really thankful.
but
i'm still in between. i'm grateful to look back on and celebrate the
times that i had and also realize that i have something to look back
on. if i can look back and see the love and joy my dad had for my
family. and the joy he got from taking his kids and wife flying and
sharing things he was passionate about with the people he was
passionate about...thats what i want to be.
so for any of you who asked....thats what i think on father's day.
have a great day. | | |
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